The tie that can’t be severed…

Even on my darkest days, when my monster convinces me that nothing I know to be true is real, when it has me believing that she doesn’t care, my heart still manages to persuade me to talk to her. Even when it’s scared that the monster is right. Yesterday the monster had me completely convincedContinue reading “The tie that can’t be severed…”

Something I’ve always wanted…

For a long time I felt cheated out of the kind of relationship I saw between my friends and their mothers. The way they could tell them anything, the way their mothers looked after them, rather than the other way round. The conversations that they were able to have. That’s not to say that IContinue reading “Something I’ve always wanted…”

To my two mothers…

Mothers Day is fast approaching in the UK and I’m not going to be in for most of it as I’ll be at a little event in Scarborough called Sci-Fi Scarborough. So I thought I’d post this now. Whilst it’s fresh in my mind. I am fortunate to have two mother’s in my life, one is the biological mother who raised me, and one has only come into my life in the past year, but she treats me as if I am her own. So the two letters below are for them.

On the eve of your 59th birthday

I don’t think I’ll ever truly put aside the pain I feel at you not being here, Mum. I don’t think there will ever come a day when I’m not wishing I could phone you. It’s been almost 14 years and I can’t shake that desire. But this year’s post is something different, because you’veContinue reading “On the eve of your 59th birthday”

How do you cope with particularly difficult days?

I’m not going to tame this post. It’s not going to be something fluffy and sweet, what is below the cut may trigger people. But I need to get it out, so it may be a post you want to skip by. Trust me on this, I could just skip writing it but that ain’tContinue reading “How do you cope with particularly difficult days?”

2014 – this year’s summary

This year has been memorable for several reasons. Some global, some not. There have been definitive landmarks for me and I know that some of them have paved the way for 2015. I’ll try to keep this concise, I’ll fail. Because this year has had a lot of different intertwining moments. So in no particularContinue reading “2014 – this year’s summary”

A catch up on the life of Scribblenubbin

So I haven’t updated in a while. And I keep meaning to but I’m so completely and utterly behind in everything. This past week I’ve been getting home and working on my latest project which, quite frankly has taken over my life thanks to support and encouragement from someone I did not expect it from.Continue reading “A catch up on the life of Scribblenubbin”

Sometimes goodbye is easier than hello

I had a friend whom I loved deeply.  He was like the other side of my Genderqueer self.  We would talk for hours and hours about things that seemed to only make sense to the two of us.  We would talk about time as a non-linear construct, past lives, gender identity, and all of itContinue reading “Sometimes goodbye is easier than hello”