What about when the doctors just don’t know?

On top of my usual issues with disabilities and health, the past few months have been agony beyond all other agony. My hips, thighs, calves, and lower back are causing me untold pain. I’m over it. I can’t handle it any longer, and I’m sick of not getting to the bottom of it.

My doctor thought it was bursitis. I’ve had steroid injections but they did nothing. I went to the hospital today for ultrasound guided injections to be told it’s not bursitis causing this pain. The earliest appointment I can get with my doctor is the 23rd August! 

Meanwhile I’m on a phase return to work, after 2 months off in complete agony, not because I feel any better, but because I’m going crazy stuck at home. And because you need money to survive. 

I’ve done my research, I’ve googled the symptoms, I’ve spoken with friends who have chronic pain. I have spent hours (even before the hospital today) between the exhaustion and pain looking at it and I know what I think it is. I know my body and I know I’m usually right with what’s wrong (it’s part of being in and out of medical appointments my whole life), but getting an actual diagnosis is like trying to unlock a door with chocolate pudding. It’s frustrating. 

I have eighty percent of the common symptoms of fibromyalgia and am fighting for the damn diagnosis. The problem with this is I’m running out of spoons to keep this battle going. And without diagnosis I can’t get access to the medication I want to try in an effort to reduce the pain over the long haul. 

Why is it so hard for physicians to listen when we ask them for help? Why is it so impossible for them to listen to us when we are the ones who know our bodies best? And why does my fucking doctors surgery make it impossible to get a damned appointment?