I am…

I hate those forms they give you to fill out, be it for a job or a volunteering position or one of those online social media things that encourages you to tell people about yourself.  Invariably I end up leaving something out and invariably a part of me is determined that people are going to know about the things they don’t like before the things they do (this part is more for the social media than the job applications).  How do you sum up who you are when who you are changes every minute of every day when you grow and change and when, like me, your gender is more masculine one minute and more feminine the next and five minutes after that it is not anywhere near either binary?

There are list of labels that I have applied to myself in the past and that I still apply daily but even the newer versions of those are limited.  If I tried to cover everything under the vast and yet simple statement of ‘I am me’ I would get people telling me that’s not enough.  They want to know about my hobbies, my gender, my sexuality, my abilities, my likes, my dislikes, my health, my eye colour, my natural hair colour (I don’t think I’ve been completely my natural colour in nearly 16 years), the list goes on and on and on.  And sometimes I just want to scream that it is none of their business.

So to sum it up. I am me. I may share aspects of myself with you. I may not. I may allow you in a little way and may give you a glimpse of who I am.  But you will never know me fully.  Because I don’t know me fully.  From one minute to the next I am never the same person and I don’t expect you to be either.

Published by scribblenubbin

A conundrum inside an enigma.

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